That every child should be raised by such loving and understanding parents.
In a world filled with daily with news that seems guaranteed to make us all cynics, comes this report of human goodness and intelligence.
What would you do if your son wanted to be a princess?
By Christopher Nelson
What would you do if your 5-year-old son decided he wanted to dress up like a girl or your 5-year-old daughter wanted to be a tomboy? It's an issue that some parents may be grappling with as Halloween approaches. The Internet is still abuzz about how Dean and Cheryl Kilodavis responded when their youngest son began displaying an affinity for girls clothing. Initial reaction to the Kilodavis family's story ranged from agreement with their unwavering support of their son to strong condemnation. And while experts who have weighed in on the case praised them as parents, for a response that they deem appropriate given their circumstances, many others remain unconvinced that what the Kilodavis' are doing is right.
In an interview with KING 5 TV, the Seattle NBC affiliate, Cheryl Kilodavis explained when Dyson first began showing his preferences for girls clothing.
"Dyson was almost two years old when he started having kind of a unique eye for everything beautiful. So, anything pink or sparkly, he just had a really, really great eye for anything that was just, beautiful," she said.
Kilodavis said it was difficult for her and that she initially thought that maybe Dyson just didn't have enough options with regards to "dress up clothes for boys" at his daycare, so she went out and purchased male outfits.
Yet, Dyson preferred to dress up in girl clothes.
That's when she said, "I knew then it wasn't about gender specification for him, it was just about what he thought was really pretty."
Rather than chastise or malign him Cheryl Kilodavis and her husband worked to show Dyson that he wasn't loved any less because others might see him as different.
"I just want him to be happy and healthy, and if this is the form he chooses to express himself, that's fine," said Dean Kilodavis during the family's T.V. interview.
WATCH THE INTERVIEW WITH FAMILY
Dr. Melva Green, a psychiatrist said, "In terms of gender exploration this is very natural."
While many child development experts share the doctor's opinion many observers who read about the Kilodavis family expressed outrage when weighing in on Facebook.
"As a mother of two boys I would never let my sons wear girls clothing not even for Halloween!" wrote Julie Saunders.
"He is five-years-old he'd wear what I tell him to wear," added Junior Demmings.
For the Kilodavis' the decision to shine a very public spotlight on their family wasn't made without serious consideration.
"We spent a year discussing how this would be received. We knew there would be negative responses because we experienced them too, and honestly, I thought we were really alone in this, which was very hard. We needed more than our family unit. We needed him to be happy outside the home, as much as he was inside it," Cheryl Kilodavis tells theGrio.
Some of those commenting even went as far as saying that they'd beat their child if he expressed a desire to wear girl outfits.
Others were more understanding and saw that the family was put in a difficult spot of wanting to support their son, while also not wanting him to be judged or ridiculed by observers.
"This one is a hard one to call, we as parent want our children to be happy, but we also don't want to see our children hurt," added a more sympathetic Donnie Robinson on Facebook.
"I don't think they are encouraging this, I think that they are accepting this and supporting this," offered Dr. Jeff Gardere, a noted psychologist.
Sheri L. Parks, an associate professor in the American Studies department at the University Maryland, College Park, says she is intrigued by the enormous interest in the story.
"At one level I'm surprised because the phenomenon of little boys dressing up in little girls clothing is not new, and certainly not particular to him," she said.
Still she says the fact that the Kilodavis' are African-American called attention to the issue in the African-American community, which tends to be more conservative about the way they view gender roles.
Mrs. Kilodavis says her own interaction with other African-Americans has been a mixed bag but she acknowledges, "In some parts of the African American community, gender identity issues are taboo."
Dr. Parks goes even further when explaining the taboo.
"Religiosity permeates African-American daily life more than any other population," Parks said. "When you look at evangelical Protestants they are the most concerned about gender role development and sexual orientation."
She noted, "African-Americans are very emotionally involved in black masculinity. Masculinity is very highly valued, that's why some people come down hard on this little boy whose not taking his rightful place."
I am tired of hearing about the Black Community Taboo and their strong ideas of masculinity...We're so worried about someone's sexuality, what about becoming the Family Provider and taking care of your Children...not just making baby Mamas.....Get a wife...provide for your Family... that is a Man thing...being a Man is not about your sexuality!!!!... We are Confused.....
Gender role assignments are completely arbitrary cultural artifacts and are fluid over time. They have no reality outside of culture.
Well thought out article. My only thoughts are that pushing a child one way will surely just cause them to rebel the other way!